Abusive Relationships: How to Avoid Problems With Your Partner

The topic of psychological and physical violence in relationships is one of the most popular in recent years. What happens to a person when he turns from a romantic in love into a ruthless critic? Why does Tinder dating turn to recriminations and cruelty? Here’s how to tell the difference between an abusive relationship and why it occurs.

An abusive relationship can be described as a pattern of behavior in which one partner commits violence (psychological, physical, financial, or economic) against the other. The most common is psychological abuse, which takes the form of manipulation, humiliation, threats, and insults.

Unhealthy “Love”

Abusive behaviors arise from psychological, social, and genetic factors. From a genetic point of view, this form of behavior may be inherent in a person at birth. It is extremely important to consider family relationships, how parents interact, and the influence of the social environment.

If a child lives in a family where the father shows physical or psychological violence against his wife and children, it affects the behavior of the child, and then the adult in the future. Also among the reasons is the partner’s desire to assert himself at the expense of the victim, thereby increasing his self-esteem. In addition, there may be a physical or sexual violence in personal experience or the presence of mental personality disorder.

Signs of Psychological Violence

Striving for Power and Total Control

The main goal of the aggressor in this situation is to deprive you of any support and resource environment, to completely control you and your time.

Double Standards

The so-called one-way game, which implies a continuous increase in duties and responsibilities for one side and their complete absence for the other. Any of your efforts and efforts are devalued and your needs are ignored.

Financial Dependency

The manipulator doesn’t benefit from building a relationship with a self-sufficient and successful person. Over time, the lack of your interests, hobbies, and earnings reduce your self-esteem and status in the relationship.

Constant Complaints and Dissatisfaction

In any situation, the manipulator tends to maximize self-abasement from responsibility and beg for support, masterfully creating the image of a victim of circumstances.

Chronic Fatigue

The tyrant slowly and surely lowers self-esteem and builds a multitude of manipulations that lead to endless squabbles, excuses, and imagined guilt. As a result, this relationship pattern leads to a state of apathy, fatigue, and sometimes health problems.

The Behavioral Cycle of Violence and Ways to Break it

“Tension builds up”: the phase is characterized by impaired communication with the partner, the victim’s fear grows and the aggressor’s level of irritability increases. The first attempts to calm the abuser are made; the manifestation of violence is still minimal.

“Violent incident” is the next stage. There is physical, emotional, psychological violence, as well as anger and manipulation.

“Reconciliation” is a phase characterized by apologies from the abuser, denial of the incident, and promises that the violence will not happen again.

“Honeymoon” is the final phase, which can be compared to online sports betting in India – 2022 for wonderful emotions. At this level, the incident is “forgotten,” the victim believes the abuser, and there is no violence.

Abusive Relationship Victim Questionnaire

Recognizing that you are in an abusive relationship is the first step to getting out of it. A psychologist can help with this, but it is important to pay attention to how you feel when you are in a relationship. To find out if you are in an abusive relationship, you can use a small questionnaire. Answer the questions honestly and sincerely:

  • Are you openly criticized and displeased by your partner (criticism of appearance, behavior)?
  • Does your partner show jealousy?
  • Does your partner forbid you to communicate with friends, parents, colleagues?
  • Does your partner threaten you?
  • Your partner behaves the same in private with you and in public?
  • Do you change your behavior or keep silent out of fear of your partner?
  • Are you afraid to make decisions without his/her knowledge?
  • Do you feel worthless because of your partner’s words or actions?
  • Is your partner difficult to please?
  • Does your partner ignore your emotions, feelings, and worries?


If you answered yes to most of these questions, you are probably in an abusive relationship and are a victim. If this is the case, you need help. If there is a risk of physical abuse, you should contact law enforcement. If you are experiencing psychological abuse, seek help from psychologists. There are helplines for emergency help.